


Braids, Boys, and Betrothals

by Jasmine_Nightshade



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-13 20:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3395795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jasmine_Nightshade/pseuds/Jasmine_Nightshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In time for the spring festival and before a recon mission to Mount Weather Clarke and Bellamy will make a decision that will surprise everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This was intended as a one-shot but I may end up continuing it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Things had quieted down between the Grounders and the Outsiders. It was peaceful for a time, and now that things had quieted it gave everyone the chance to get to know one another better. Octavia spent most of her days with Indra learning the necessary skills she would need to become a warrior, she was one of the biggest reasons why they hadn’t killed each other yet. Raven spent most of her time working on radios and Clarke spent most of her time with Lexa and Bellamy trying to solidify battle plans for the spring. Today however was the first day of spring that they had had since the chill of the winter had set in months ago. Most people were milling outside but in the middle of everyone sat a group of girls. Octavia, Raven, and Clarke all sat around together in a circle enjoying some of the freedom of being outside once again, the sun warming their skin in the early afternoon. Thanks to Lexa and the Grounders, they had survived the winter.   
Since Finn’s death in the fall Raven had done everything she could to stop talking to Clarke but after a showdown between the two several months ago that had ended in a fist fight things had been worked out as they had slowly patched their friendship. There was still tension and everyone knew not to bring up Finn, but the camp was finally glad to see the two be at rest.  
“Where’s Lincoln today, Octavia? I haven’t seen him at all.” Clarke laid on her back staring up at the endless blue sky as she voiced the question with a hint of teasing. They had gotten Lincoln off of the Red for good. It had been difficult for them, the fights a showdown but the make ups fireworks. Clarke was happy for their peace now, glad that Lincoln could be free of one of his demons, thought she wondered if he ever truly would be.   
“He’s out with the hunters today. It’s a rite of passage for them.” Octavia answered trying not to let the joy slip into her voice.  
“What?!” Clarke sat up looking at her friend excitedly knowing exactly what this meant.  
“You mean they’ll let him back in? He won’t be considered a traitor anymore?” Raven continued over Clarke.  
“Yep! After everything he has done and been through Indra has decided to relinquish her title of traitor. However he has to go through all the rites of passage again, which in my limited understanding there are a lot.” Though the idea of him having to redo everything he had worked for was disheartening Octavia couldn’t help but be excited. Being cut off from his people had weakened him and having that back gave her joy.  
“Well, that’s excellent Octavia. Now if this one would just admit that she likes her boy we’ll be all good.” Raven smirked at Octavia, as they teased Clarke about Bellamy. It had been a little weird at first, the idea of talking about her growing feelings for him with his sister but she didn’t seem to care.  
“Hey!” Clarke yelled  
“Right?!” Octavia smirked back at Raven and watched as Clarke tried not to blush.  
“For the record, I have admitted it but he won’t so we’re at a bit of a standstill.” Clarke flopped back down letting out a heavy sigh. She didn’t like keeping things from her friends, especially after everything that they had been through but after all the teasing she thought it would make a nice surprise.  
“What? What are you two plotting? Oh goodness, this can’t end well.” Clarke hung her head, the two girls had matching devious smiles and of course they were plotting.  
“We weren’t plotting anything.” Octavia says in a sickly sweet voice.  
“We’re innocent.” Raven finished in just as sickly sweet a voice.  
“Uh huh, why do I not believe you. Either of you. At all?” Clarke shook her head before trying to change the subject. The conversation moved on to how peace was being handled and whether or not Octavia would ever survive Indra, which she would but with more bruises and scratches than she cared for. After that the conversation moved onto lighter things and finally Clarke asked who had shown Octavia how to braid her hair back like that. It was out of her face and much easier to manage. Raven agreed having braided her hair back before pulling it into a pony tail has made things infinitely easier. The conversation continued this way for some time before Octavia offered to braid Clarke’s hair back for her.   
Octavia and Raven got to work, making sure the braids were even and tight as Raven followed Octavia’s instructions for each section. Using small rubber bands the girls tied off the intricate knot they had created from weaving the multiple braids together to create a braided tiara. They were just about done when Bellamy cautiously walked up to them, knowing that the three of them together could be trouble. He stopped and stared at Clarke, her hair had always been pulled back out of her face but Octavia and Raven had taken three braids and woven them together around her head before bringing them together in the centre to look like a knot. It was beautiful work and it suited Clarke well.   
“So what do you think Bellamy? Do you like it?” Raven teased. Clarke swatted at Raven to stop it before Octavia joined in.  
“Yeah Bell, you think it suits our Princess.” On the last word Octavia almost purred, Clarke turned around to look at her astonished. If they hadn’t still been holding a few strands of her hairs she would have walked away, as it were the blush that was making its way from her ears to her chest made both girls chuckle. The continued to pass looks between the other as Bellamy and Clarke rolled their eyes.  
“Will you finish my hair; I have to go meet Lexa.” Clarke whined. Both girls snorted as they quickly tied off both strands releasing Clarke from their teasing.  
“I’ll come with you; I have a couple of questions for her about training.” Bellamy quickly added as he waited for Clarke to pass before shooting a death glare at his sister and Raven as they made remarks and gestures of what they really should be doing.   
“That won’t help. Trust me.” Clarke spoke, grabbing his attention.  
“I take it you haven’t told them yet?” Bellamy gave her a sidelong look.  
“No, I figure they can wait until the feast for the news. It’ll be our little surprise.” Clarke smirked and Bellamy just shook his head, sometimes she could be just as devious as the other two. That was when they had planned to tell their camp. Lexa already knew she had been the one to suggest it, uniting of powers through a relationship such as marriage. She had said that among the Grounders a betrothal and marriage was one of the strongest bonds. If they wanted to show they were strong and united this would be the best way to do it. When the idea had first been presented at the beginning of winter they both had considered it, though more for political reasons than anything else, but as time had passed politics slowly left the equation.   
“You three are ridiculous.” Bellamy laughed as he thought about it. He was going to say it was a miracle that they hadn’t gotten themselves killed but that would be a lie. Raven was fantastic at anything technical she could make anything out of the barest spare parts. Octavia was strong and a fighter she could help protect them with just about anything and with her recent training, she would keep them safe. Clarke was good on her feet, she was a quick thinker, a good fighter and a healer, and if he ever got trapped it would be those three he would wish to be saved by. Clarke had to admire how all three women was the reason he was still alive. Yes they were children, Octavia and Clarke were both still under eighteen but even still they had proven how vital they were to everyone’s survival.  
Upon entering the camp they were greeted warmly. Most of the other Outsiders did not venture into the camps made by the Grounders but Clarke had taken to spending most nights in the Grounder camp with Bellamy and Lexa. The guards had gotten to know them better and had slowly come to respect them. Some still wished for open war, hating the idea of peace but Lexa was young and a visionary, if anyone had the strength to pull this off she would be the one to do it.  
After the pleasantries had been dismissed they sat around the fire talking about strategies to get their people back from Mount Weather. “You’ll tell them the night of the feast, won’t you?” The conversation had come to a lull as they had no more ideas to hash out, Bellamy had given Clarke a look and for the past several minutes they had been conversing silently. Broken out of their trance by her words, Lexa smiled at the pair. “I’m surprised you can keep it hidden from them. The way you two look at each other.” Her smile was sad, as if pulling on old memories that still hurt.  
“Yes, we’ll tell them tomorrow night.” Clarke spoke strongly before nodding at Bellamy.  
“Lexa, we would like to learn about the betrothal ritual from your people. We would like to show a sign of respect by showing your people we are open to learning their culture and customs.” Bellamy’s voice was strong, inspiring.  
“Of course.” Lexa smiled, she knew in heart it had been right to make peace with these people. They did care, maybe not the adults, they didn’t understand what the younger ones had gone through but she could see that Bellamy and Clarke were willing to sacrifice almost anything to keep peace. By standing in front of her people and performing this ceremony they would be solidifying the alliance.   
For the next few hours Lexa spoke of the betrothal process. Clarke would be taken to be cleaned and dressed beforehand, it would be a special dress, usually it is made from the furs of the animals she had killed as a huntress but Lexa explained since she was not a huntress they would find something else to represent who she was. Bellamy would be cleaned as well, before being put in an outfit that would represent who he was as both leader and guard. Then Clarke would be led out on a horse before the two would be brought together before a great fire. There they would be marked, matching symbols would be painted on their faces that would mark they were betrothed. One representative from the Outsiders would speak of the couple on their bravery and commitment to each other then Lexa would speak about the importance of this bond, she would speak on the sacredness of the union and how no matter what may come they will always remain tied. On the next full moon they would unite completely through the bonding of the marriage ceremony. After detailing how it would go she taught them what to say in her language with the appropriate response.  
The sun had set when they finally emerged from the tent where they had been talking and the Grounders around them noticed a difference. They sensed that something had changed and that something would be announced. Lexa departed from the pair as she spoke with Nyko and Indra about the events of the feast. Though Indra was still angry with the Outsiders she listened to the commands given and spoke with several of the village women about finding something suitable to wear for Clarke. The women spread word across the camps and suddenly there was a renewed sense of happiness. The women worked together to make a dress of a light cloth material, what was often used for the skirts before beginning a design with Clarke in mind as leader and healer.   
“You have made the people happy.” Nyko approached the pair as they were finishing up the meal with a smile on his face.  
“Thank you.” Bellamy and Clarke replied together.  
“You have gained their respect by asking to follow our traditions instead of your own.” Nyko continued. “Are your people aware of your betrothal?” His voice was inquisitive.  
“They aren’t. Tomorrow will be the first time we speak of this.” Clarke answered for both of them.  
“Does he not need to ask permission for your betrothal?” Nyko looked scandalized at the idea.  
“It is custom among our people to ask the father for the hand of marriage but my father is dead.” Clarke finished the sentence quietly, the images of him being floated still too fresh in her mind.  
“How did he die?” Nyko inquired lowering his voice.  
“He was sentenced to death for trying to save my people.” Clarke’s voice broke as she continued to speak. Though she and Bellamy had gotten closer he knew that she didn’t like bringing up her father, he had never heard the full story before and now as they sat together he was glad to be by her side. Reaching his hand over he squeezed hers gently encouraging her to continue on. Taking a deep breath Clarke continued, “Our home was dying, we were running out of time to save it. He wanted to tell all of our people so that we could find a way. My mother told our old leader what my father’s plan was and he was sentenced to death. I stood and watched as my father was pulled out into the void for trying to save his people.” Clarke ended and Nyko took a moment of silence before speaking.  
“You are just like him, he would be proud of you Clarke.” Nyko was angry for her, but he understood her a little more now. Understood why she cared so much for her people. “Thank you for telling me.” Nyko stood after another few moments of silence feeling that couple should be alone to discuss what had been said. He had watched Bellamy’s face while Clarke had been talking and he saw the visceral reactions.  
“So your mother is the reason why you got sent to prison.” Bellamy shook his head, things made a lot more sense now. Especially has most of the time there was an uneasy tension between the two.  
“Yes she is. She is also the reason my father is dead.” She followed with barely any emotion in her voice.  
“I am sorry.” Bellamy turned her face towards him trying to catch her eye before kissing her deeply. He could see the pain ran deep, that she had more scars that she let anyone and see and for a moment he wanted to erase her pain. Wrapping his other arm around her to draw her close Bellamy slowed his kisses on her lips. Pulling her lips back Clarke rested her forehead against his while basking in the comfort of his arms around her. Lexa watched as they settled, resting against one another before falling asleep next to the fire.  
The next day began the day of feasting. Winter was over and spring had begun, the feast would celebrate another winter survived and another spring to come and fill the Earth with food and bounty. As preparation were being made on both sides and tables being set up in between the two camps Bellamy and Clarke were taken away to begin preparations for the night’s events. Once washed and cleaned the women of the village began looking at Clarke’s hair asking would had created such an intricate design. Once she mentioned Octavia the women nodded leaving it as it was. Clarke thought it a bit curious but left it alone as the dress was brought out before her. Staring at the material Clarke reach forward letting it run through her fingers before looking up to Indra and a few of the other women with a huge smile on her face. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.” At this Clarke looked the woman who was holding it in the eye to show all her sincerity. The woman nodded before nodding her head to the robe that they had given Clarke. Though she felt exposed she disrobed before stepping into the dress. The material was light and soft, falling against her in just the right way. The woman who had made this was an artist. It fit her perfectly. Turning her around all of the women began clapping, exclaiming in their own language that she was beautiful. A few moments later a horse was brought out; helping Clarke on the horse Indra walked her out, leading her towards the bonfire that was a short distance away.  
It had felt like he was getting married instead of being betrothed. He hadn’t been allowed to see Clarke since the morning and as he stood waiting by the fire he was getting anxious. Everyone had asked him what had been going on, but he had said they would have to wait for the feast. Still there was an air around the camp of surprise and happiness. Octavia smiled at him reassuringly while Raven looked on confused. Lexa and Octavia stood in front of their people together. Though Abby was the leader Clarke has requested Octavia be the one to speak, and for Octavia it was a great honour. Slowly the crown parted as Clarke rode in on the horse and Bellamy could nothing but stare. The dress they had put her in was cut modestly in a v-neck that came just above the top of her breasts before continuing down in an A-line that was slit to her mid-thigh on both sighs. The Grounders were surprised as they noted the ceremony while the Outsiders were confused as they watched their two leaders come together.  
The Grounders knew better than to interrupt a ceremony like this but the murmurings of the Outsiders was growing too loud. Raising his hands to quiet the people Bellamy spoke, “Please trust your leaders, you will understand soon.” With that Bellamy turned back toward Clarke who now stood on the other side of Lexa. With that the ceremony began, Octavia spoke of how brave both of them were, speaking to their strengths and their weaknesses and how they complimented one another so well. Then she spoke of commitment even in the toughest and hardest of times. Octavia made sure to speak slowly enough so that Lexa could translate for her. They wanted to make sure both sides understood everything that was being said. Then Lexa began to speak, she spoke about what this commitment would mean for them, how strong it would bind them together and how nothing could break this apart. Indra translated for her as Octavia’s knowledge of their language was not enough to do the job, though she was learning.  
Finally as the ceremony came to an end Lexa painted their faces with the same symbol, it was a symbol that represented strength and commitment. She interlaced their hands with a thick strip of fabric before tying it off. The two looked at her startled while a rumbling laugh echoed throughout the Grounders.   
“You have to keep your hands bound until you can figure out a way to untie the knot. You have to do it together without cutting it. It is the final piece of our ceremony.” Lexa gave them a sly smile before adding one more thing. Standing before both everyone Lexa spoke to the crowd this time. “It is customary among my people to seal this ceremony with a kiss.” Bellamy and Clarke were smiling until Lexa had continued; though they were together they had been trying to take it slow physically. They had kissed a few times but now in front of everyone it felt awkward. Clarke hesitated but Bellamy pulled her forward pressing his lips down on hers softly before moving to nip at her bottom lip. It was a soft spot of her’s, when Bellamy did that, and so she pushed back eagerly kissing him and nipping at his lips as he was hers. After a few moments they remembered that they were in front of a crowd, one that was loudly cheering them on. Octavia couldn’t keep the smile off of her face and Raven ran up to congratulate them both.  
The evening continued with merriment on both sides as they ate and drank together. Clark and Bellamy worked through having their hands tied together, though at the moment they didn’t seem to really mind being attached at the hip. Grounders continually came up and congratulated them or nodded their heads in acknowledgement. It was a sign of respect, they had done this right and Clarke sighed happily as she rested her head against Bellamy.   
“We did it.” She smiled up at him.  
“Yes we did.” Just as Bellamy was about to kiss her again, Abby came running up, having been detained with a patient earlier.  
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The crowd around them quieted as they stared at the Chancellor and her daughter. Lexa made her way over but Clarke put her hand out indicting her to stop. This was her battle to fight and she had to do this.   
“I believe I am betrothed to Bellamy now.” Her response crisp and tight, giving warning to those around her. Raven and Octavia stood to one side as the scene unfolded.   
“Do you know what you are doing? Do you understand what you have agreed to?” Abby broke, now understanding the ceremony that had taken place. They were engaged, or rather betrothed.  
“I would not have entered into this if I did not completely understand the task that was before me.” Clarke’s voice was determined. “I understand that what we call a betrothal they consider a bonding. The bonding that we agreed to is not for people who are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together. The bond that the ceremony spoke of was the bond that comes with willing to die for one another, to hunt for one another, to commit to them so completely that no matter what may come your way you go to them. It spoke of enduring hard times, as they are about to come. It spoke of enjoying the peace but more it spoke of bonding two people as one to live together, work together, think together, and move together as one. It speaks of something deeper that just love.” Clarke eyed her mother, wanting to say something about her father but knowing this was neither the time nor the place.  
“I understand as much as she does what we agreed to. You have no idea what we have been through, what we have seen and done. We came divided, unable to stand one another and look where we are. If we can do this amongst ourselves we can do this with the others.” Bellamy continued, reassuring Clarke of his choice as well as their reasoning. Octavia smiled at both of them, they were both strong leaders and now they would be even stronger together.  
“What do you know of love? You speak as though you are bound eternally together. Love can die and whither and betray.” Abby’s words were harsh and cold though Clarke thought she might be directing them at herself just as much as her daughter. Still the words stung, her mother knew nothing of the time   
“We are bound by friendship, pain, death, murder, sorrow, regret, strength, and love. But most of all we are bound to each other by commitment. You were not here when we landed and you were not here when we had to learn how to survive. Bellamy was. They all were and while you sit there and tell us how to live here you forget one very important detail.” Clarke’s voice had darkened but now Bellamy stood by her side looking like a king and she his queen.   
“What have I forgotten child?” The word was supposed to be an insult but missed the mark.  
“You forget that we have been here longer than you. We have learned how to survive here. And you forget that we stopped being children the day we were forced to leave our home. You gave up the right to call us children that day there’s no going back.” Abby took a moment then to really look at her daughter and see her for what she had become. She had lost the edges of childhood and replaced them with the scars of this world, the reminders of what being a leader meant and the blood that was on her hands.   
“As long as you understand what have you committed to I will not stand in your way.” Abby raised her hands in surrender as Raven’s words hit her again and again. She was no longer a child and there was no going back. Instead there was a wall between them. Separating Clarke from forgiving her mother, she still cared and it was a gift to know that she was alive but the anger of losing her father was still between them. Clarke nodded her head in agreement, ending the conversation as she turned towards Bellamy. They knew this would not be easy, they didn’t expect it to be. That was not why they were doing this. Moving as one the crowd split before them allowing them a close seat to the spit where the deer was being roasted for the feast. Their friends joined them then, sitting around close as they spoke of their surprise at the announcement, everyone except Octavia who was currently swaying to the music in front of Lincoln.  
“Octavia, how did you know?” Clarke inquired after a short lull in conversation. Octavia titled her head up to Lincoln, meeting his gaze and smiling.   
“Some things are just easy to see. How did you know I knew?” Octavia smiled at the pair, she had never quite seen her brother as happy as he was next to Clarke.   
“When the women were dressing me they asked who had done my hair and then once I said it was your they all began laughing, I assumed you must have known otherwise why this style?” Clarke explained logically. Lincoln pressed a kiss to Octavia’s forehead before smirking. “Octavia, what exactly does this hairstyle represent?” Clarke hesitated, the looks passing between Lincoln and Octavia spoke of mischief that Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted to be a part of.  
“Loyalty, leadership, and commitment the knots are specific to the meaning behind the style.” It was the same words used in the ceremony. She gave Octavia a warm smile understanding that her friend had seen things between her brother and Clarke that she herself had not. As the night drew on and the festivities grew Clarke and Bellamy found that they didn’t want to untie their hands, they would at some point later in the evening but for the time they enjoyed the closeness to the other. Their actions were seamless, it was not a challenge to accomplish tasks and they both knew when to give and take, there was a few moments where it would become tense but they would reason it out as they always seemed to do.   
Lexa watched on from a short distance pondering the couple as they walked among the Grounders just as much as their people. She could see they were trying to learn the language, making an effort by greeting the people in their native tongue. Nyko chose that moment to come and join her, bowing in respect before taking a seat a pace away.  
“They will be strong leaders.” He spoke quietly as he watched them over to a group of their own people again.  
“Yes they will be.” Lexa thought as she knew as well tough times would come but they would survive, they would endure and persevere like they always had, but now they would do it together. They were stronger now that they were united, there was shift in their relationship that some of the Outsiders leaders had noticed. A change that showed the wisdom of children that had experienced much and now as they were about to march on Mount Weather Lexa thought that is was wise to go in with united leaders. They would not fail, for the strength from Bellamy and Clarke was contagious and everyone would find their own.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the festivities is now time to prepare for battle and war against Mount Weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who gave me kudos for the first chapter. I never expected to get so many hits and between here and fanfiction I have decided to continue this story. Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: Only the plot bunnies are mine.

 

             As the festivities had begun to wind down Bellamy had tugged Clarke with him, heading towards his tent. The Grounders sent him approving looks while the girls winked and gasped as they walked through camp hand-in-hand. Pulling the tarp aside Bellamy allowed Clarke to enter first before following and zipping the tent shut. Clarke stood in the middle uncertain of what to do. Though they spent more nights than not by each other's side in the Grounder camp Clarke had not expected to _spend the night_ with Bellamy, at least not tonight, she was too tired from the ceremony and everything with her mother. Bellamy walked passed her before flopping down on the bed unceremoniously.

            “Holy crap, that was exhausting.” He threw an arm over his eyes dramatically before taking a few deep breaths, glad for the silence. Clarke sat down gingerly on his bed next to him before speaking.

            “Agreed.” Clarke had never held back when it came to something she disagreed with but now as they sat there she wasn’t really sure how to put her thoughts into words.

            “We don’t have to have sex tonight.” His voice was quiet, he sounded almost, vulnerable? Clarke wasn’t sure about his tone but was more taken aback that he had seeming read her thoughts. She sighed heavily releasing the breath she had unconsciously been holding.

            “I wasn’t sure what was expected of tonight.” Clarke explained without him having to ask the question.

            “Nothing that you don’t want to, if you want to wait I am okay with waiting until you are completely ready. Besides, I was talking with Nyko about it and he said that usually consummation doesn’t happen until the marriage ceremony.” Bellamy moved his arm away so he could look at her and gauge her reaction. He watched as she visibly relaxed, letting the tension seep out of her posture as she let her head drop and her shoulders droop. Bellamy sat up, moving next to her as he tried to smooth the still tense muscles of her back. “Clarke, I would never pressure you to move farther than you wanted to. This,” he gestured between the two of them, “Is not just another notch in my belt or whatever your brain is concocting to tell you. There is no one else for me. You are the only one I want.” He waited until she looked at him with a small smile before he continued his ministrations on her tight muscles. After several minutes Clarke broke the silence,

            “Will she ever look at me like she used to?” Her voice was soft and broken. Bellamy didn’t need to know who she was inquiring about. He sighed pressing a light kiss to a patch of skin that wasn’t covered by her shirt before resting his head against her. Bellamy didn’t have words for Clarke, her relationship with her mother was complicated and there was little he could offer in advice given his own upbringing.

            “Give her time, she will come around. For now, let’s get some sleep tomorrow begins training before the meeting of the Twelve Clans.” Bellamy could feel her nod in agreement before moving to remove his boots, pants, and shirt for sleep. Turning around Bellamy watched as Clarke slowly removed her shoes, the actions mechanical as the exhaustion from the day’s events began to make itself known. Moving to remove her outer layer of pants, as the weather was still cold Clarke had kept a thin layer of leggings on under her jeans for added warmth. Removing her top two shirts and bra Clarke followed Bellamy beneath the cover of the animal skin blankets that adorned his bed.

            “Thank you Bellamy Blake for accepting to be my betrothed.” Clarke spoke the formal words as she cuddled up to him, pulling his left arm around her to hold her against him.

            “Thank you Clarke Griffin for accept to be _my_ betrothed.” Bellamy left a soft kiss on her forehead before settling under the covers.

It was the next day after the festivities, the meeting was coming and they didn’t have much time to prepare. They had to be ready to prove they could get in and disable their systems so the rest of the clans would agree to help fight. They would need this to win the war against the Mountain Men. Now all they had to do was get everyone to agree to work together. Twelve clans that were divided to all come together and support one another, the story sounded so familiar and Clarke couldn’t help but think that it sounded like the story of the Ark coming together. Maybe Lexa was right, they needed this push to win the war. Clarke never imagined she’d be fighting a war when she came down to Earth but then again she didn’t think that she would actually survive the ground in the first place. Now with all the possibilities it was a constant battle to survive and win.

            It was early morning when Clarke walked out of his tent, rising as the sun was just beginning to come over the horizon. She stood at the sight, falling in love with the colours around her and saddened that she didn’t have enough time to paint the sky. Regardless, Clarke was surprised to find she wasn’t the only one up early. Moving her way to the center of camp where most of the sparring practice took place throughout the day she found Octavia and Indra going at it. Though Indra praised her, more times than not she was insulting her movements, pushing the girl to be stronger and fight better. She saw the concentration on her friend’s face and noticed how she moved; she had learned to move like a Grounder with their lithe quick movements and their instinct for battle. Clarke hadn’t given Octavia enough praise; she had become so much stronger than she could have ever thought.

            Clarke made her way over to where Lexa was staying and knocked before hearing the command to enter. Though she was impressed with the skill of all the Grounder’s in battle Clarke knew all too well that having your hands bound was one of the downsides of war. If they were to get captured they would most likely have bound hands or be bound to another person making it even harder. The idea had been playing around in her head since Lexa had bound her and Bellamy’s hands together and now thought that it applied well to training.

            “Good morning.” Clarke nodded her head in greeting to the occupants of the room. Nyko was finishing up breakfast while Lexa stoop over the map of the surrounding area, Ryder stood with her speaking in their native tongue before turning to Clarke to greet her.

            “Good morning, Clarke of the Skye people.” Lexa and Ryder both nodded their heads in greeting to Clarke. “You look like you have an idea.” Lexa spoke as she watched the other leader. She could see that Clarke was running through an idea in her head.

            “Come and see.” Clarke turned around to return to the sparring match between Indra and Octavia. Thankfully she had caught them in a moment of pause as Octavia was taking a healthy drink of water before reentering her starting stance. Indra was just about to start the next match before Clarke asked her to wait.

            “What is it?” annoyed, Indra ground out the question.

            “How would you like to make it harder for her and easier for you?” Clarke offered to Indra as Octavia groaned loudly behind her.  It was then that Indra noticed Lexa and Ryder had followed behind Clarke.

            “What do you have in mind?” Indra smirked, all too happy to make her pupil worked harder.

            “Do you have something to bind hands together with?” at this Octavia protested.

            “Clarke, what on Earth are you thinking?!” Her voice was quiet but her tone was annoyed.

            “Do you trust me?” Clarke watched Octavia’s face; the outburst had brought confusion and annoyance but at the question her features quirked, slowly making out what Clarke was suggestion and nodding her head. Now a small group was gathering around them as Indra pulled out rope already guessing Clarke’s intentions with it.      

            “Yes, I do. But I would like to know what exactly is going through that mind of yours.” Clarke smiled before turning towards Indra. “Tie our hands together tight enough so that we can’t slip out of them.” Lexa watched with curiosity as she pieced together what would happen. “Ryder, come and join Indra please.” The tall man nodded before joining Indra in the impromptu ring.

            Before starting Clarke looked around at all of the warriors drawing their attention by raising her and Octavia’s joined hands in the air. “When we train, we train to become stronger. We train so that we may be prepared for anything that comes our way and as warriors we always work to improve ourselves.” Clarke kept turning, Octavia following her so their hands wouldn’t get twisted. “One thing we don’t train for is capture and the things that happen while we are captured.” At this everyone went silent. “I am proposing a new portion to your training. Sometimes we are injured sometimes you have to fight alongside someone you have never fought beside or someone who is weaker than you. This will prepare for that. One hand will be bound with someone who is weaker whom you’ve never fought against before. Together the two of you will have to disarm your opponents before they disarm you.” Clarke spoke loudly as the Grounders watched her, they had never seen her fight and though she was quick Clarke was not the best fighter they had and especially not as skilled as Octavia who had been taking her instruction from Indra. It would prove the imbalance that Clarke wanted to display. She was a weaker fighter but Octavia trusted her.

            Indra smirked before commenting, “You’re making this too easy for me Skye Princess.” She had adapted Bellamy’s nickname for her and though Clarke didn’t like the title she left it alone not wanting to cause any more division than what already existed between them.

            “Now, we start.” Clarke looked at Octavia who was already poised for the match that was about to begin and tried to copy her stance, her legs protested slightly not used to the use. Ryder and Indra circled probing area to find their weak points before exploiting them. Clarke had been given several daggers and two dirks, she preferred fighting with short blades compared to Octavia’s sword. The match continued and Octavia grunted as she tried to move by herself instead of with Clarke causing more problems as Clarke’s arm was pulled this way and that. Though her right hand was bound to Octavia’s left and she found it difficult to move Clarke still managed to get in a few good shots before Ryder disarmed her and Indra disarmed Octavia, the match had lasted only five minutes.

            “What the hell was that?!” Octavia roared, displeased at how quickly it had been over. Clarke didn’t respond right away but turned back to the warriors that stood around her watching them as they watched her.

            “You all know that Octavia and I are friends and that we trust one another, yet in a matter of a few short minutes my weakness for fighting became a weakness for Octavia, who as you have all seen is a strong fighter.” Some of the warriors nodded their heads in agreement. “Trust does not guarantee you a win, nor does it guarantee you success. Knowing how your fellow warriors moves, where their weak spots are and what their strengths are. If we are to survive this war, if we are to survive the Mountain Men we will have to learn to fight together, as a group and team.” Clarke took a breath these people were willing to follow her as she made a turn she noticed Bellamy standing in the second row, a smile on his face as he nodded for her to continue.

            “You don’t have to like the person you are paired with, you don’t have to trust them, but you _will_ learn how fight beside each other as a team and we will beat them together!” Clarke’s voice was accompanied by the cheers of those around her. Turning towards Indra she quickly cut the rope with her knife. “I leave the pairing to your discretion.” With that, Clarke left the circle to take a walk, there was something itching at her memory, something she was forgetting, a way in she hoped. Stopping y her tent quickly Clarke grabbed paper and pencils before heading to the drop ship, she needed quieted and of all places it could give her that. She had felt someone follow her though once she was outside of camp but didn’t bother turning around to check who it was. Something told Clarke that she could trust whoever it was that was following her and so she listened to her gut. She enjoyed the walk back to their old camp and even though it was now in ruins she felt pride at what it had been. They had come down to the ground with nothing but the supplies in the drop ship and were expected to survive. Look how far they had come.

            Moving inside the ship Clarke cleared a large area where she prepared to place the sheets of paper that would serve has her easel, though coming to think of it the surface of the wall would be better, larger, it would give her more room and be easier to reach. Rolling the paper back up, Clarke tucked it away in her bag for safe keeping before grabbing her pencil case and setting them on a ledge before getting to work. Need the concentration Clarke tried to remember everything she could about every turn she had taken and how they had managed to get out. Her hand had started moving without her even opening her eyes and as she strokes moved from wide outlines to more detailed designs Clarke continued to hold the images of her time in Mount Weather in her head.

            Time passed, the person that had followed her and not made themselves known but she had an idea that they knew better than to disrupt her during her process. Slowly the sun changed position and though Clarke was aware of it through the broken window above her she wasn’t completely aware of the time that was passing. It had been early morning when she had left and the hour trek and brought her to the drop ship as the sun wasn’t quite a quarter ways into the sky yet, now though the sun had passed its peak and had begun its descent back onto the horizon. The shadows had changed and now that she was finally coming to a stop Clarke could tell several hours had passed, the shadows around her were lengthening towards the East.

            Taking a step back Clarke surveyed her own work before holding her breath. There was a multitude of images on the wall. Pictures of the tunnels, the Reapers, the Mountain Men, inside Mount Weather, and most importantly she had drawn the faces of the forty-seven. Releasing her breath Clarke was amazing at what her mind could remember when focused on the scenes.

            “You can come in now.” Clarke spoke to her visitor, though now she thought there might have been more than one as at some point she remembered hearing quiet voices outside the tarp door. Unsurprisingly Ryder was the one who first entered, Lexa had told him to make sure Clarke stayed safe and so he followed her everywhere, she wasn’t surprised that he would have the one following her. Behind him entered Kane, Lexa, and Bellamy. All stood dumbfounded before the wall as their eyes were drawn to each picture separately.

            “This is amazing.” Bellamy was the first one to speak as he stepped forward to inspect the drawings more carefully noting the more intricate details in each sketch. Lexa hadn’t spoke yet, still in awe of the amount of detail and memory for each sketch. Ryder stood silent though his eyes were still taking in the entirety of the work.

            “You remembered.” Lexa finally spoke following Bellamy’s example to step closer trying to commit every detail to memory.

            “I couldn’t help but think that there was a way in somewhere in my memory of when we escaped. It’s the only way I know how.” Clarke shrugged her shoulders before picking up a rag to wipe all of the graphite off of her hands.

            “Here, here is our in.” While they had been standing admiring the work Indra, Octavia, and Lincoln had joined them. Lincoln looked over the map and the route of the tunnels that Clarke could remember passing through before hitting the dam. It was him who had spoken and pointed to an entrance before moving his hand and explaining how that specific tunnel was where the Reapers were to bring their prizes and get their rewards. Clarke and Lexa nodded, knowing that they would have to send someone in to get the scope and shut the weapons down from the inside.

            “I’ll do it.” Bellamy spoke before any other suggestion could be made.  
            “That’s ridiculous, Bell, you aren’t going.” Octavia spoke up quickly before earning a quick silencing glare from her mentor.

            “Look, I’m the only one who can get in and out. They know Clarke, they don’t know me. I’ll have Lincoln take me and from there I’ll figure out how to get to the dormitory. If I can reach the forty-seven then I’ll be set.” He looked to Lincoln for approval before nodding his head in confirmation. Bellamy had never liked Lincoln from the beginning but now as he not only stood by his sister but the rest of his people he found he didn’t have such a hard time trusting the man with his life. It was Lincoln’s test; could he face his old demons and not return to his old ways? Only time could tell but if Bellamy had his way he wouldn’t let Lincoln give up his freedom and his sister’s love just for another dose of the Red.

            “What is this, here?” Indra asked after several moments of silence as she pointed to a scene that had been depicted towards the bottom of the wall. Clarke studied it before sighing having to explain what was happening behind those closed doors was killing her.

            “It’s a room where they bleed your people.” Clarke was quiet, unable to speak above a whisper. She realized that considering all the blood that was on her hands it was the pot calling the kettle black but bleeding people just to live was something she didn’t think she would ever stand behind. Yet again, she had found a way to obliterate three hundred warriors in a short time. She wanted to vomit but refused and pushed the emotions down in a tight little box. Now was not the time.

            “What do you mean?” It was Indra again and with the tone of her voice *** Clarke knew she would have to be very careful about her wording. Though, there was no way to conceal the truth, there was no way to begin to explain the atrocities that the Mountain Men were committing on a daily basis.

            “There is something special about our blood that keeps them from getting radiation sickness. They can’t go outside without a suit on because their bodies never built up immunity to the radiation that surrounds us. So when they need treatments they do a blood transfusion from our people to their people. They do this over and over again until they are too weak to continue and then hand them over to the Reapers.” Clarke spoke barely above a whisper, her voice hoarse with emotion. It had killed her to leave them all behind, there were hundreds, and there was no way that they could have all made it out alive.

            “Are you telling me the Reapers…?” It was Lexa this time as her voice dropped to a dangerous level; Lincoln stepped up here, divulging information about his time that no one had ever heard before.

            Everyone stayed quiet he spoke of his time and what they had. How they had tortured him, held him down and injected the disgusting liquid by force before making him submit to its will. He spoke of an innocent Grounder he had killed just so he could obtain his next dose because without it he felt as though he would die. When Lincoln was done he looked towards Indra, something akin to sorrow radiating from him.

            _“It was never my intention to become a Reaper. I hated what I had become but even strong men fail under pressure.”_ Lincoln spoke to her in their language, not begging but pleading with her. Though she had been more civilized towards him animosity could be felt by anyone who stood around them.

            _“I understand.”_ It was a simple statement that lifted a huge weight that Lincoln carried around with him. The statement wasn’t a pardon; it was an acknowledgement of his suffering. After this moment they would not speak of it again but in this moment the two villagers found a moment of peace with one another. “We need to destroy this so no one else can find it.” Indra’s order broke the silence that had enveloped the group. Clarke nodded though she was grieved to have to erase her masterpiece, it was such a beauty.

            “Why don’t we just cover it?” Octavia spoke for the first time taking a moment to run her fingers along some of the portraits.

            “Indra is right. President Wallace is very aware of my drawing capabilities and if a patrol were to find this they would know what we are trying to do and put our entire mission in jeopardy. I can redraw it if necessary.” Clarke shrugged, everything had its time and her drawing had served its purpose, they had found a way in.

            “What about the portraits? Can we leave those up as a memorial for those who didn’t make it?” Clarke and Bellamy exchanged a look as they remember a previous conversation about the number of people that were left. Even with the Ark on the ground they were no longer one hundred.

            “I don’t see why not.” Clarke stared each portrait in the face.

            “Why did you put this one on the wall?” Ryder inquired about the portrait of Anya.

            “Without Anya I would not be alive right now. Maybe you hate me for that, one of your best warriors and leaders is dead and yet I, a murderer of my own people live. Where is the justice in that, right?” Everyone was stunned, that particular instance was rarely spoken of as the sentiments surrounding it were still very heated. Clarke would never forget the scene when she had come out. It may have been Jasper and Raven you built everything but it was her idea and her suggestion. She had killed three hundred people to save her own and she spent every day trying to wash that blood off her hands. “But she is the one that fought and survived. She taught me what it was to sacrifice and because she gave the ultimate sacrifice I am alive. I drew her because she deserves to be remembered and fought for.” Clarke picked up her bag before heading out, needing to leave the reminder of Anya behind as the emotions from earlier still swirled in her head. No matter how cathartic drawing made Clarke feel there was always a part of her that was emotionally raw. Now, as she turned away leaving the others to smudge and smear her sketches she didn’t want to look back. These particular drawings brought back too many reminders of what she had become just to survive. Maybe she was right, she wouldn’t ever be able to wash the blood away. As she stood outside with her back to the others Clarke watched all the different kinds of birds flit and flutter through the sky before swooping down through the trees and the river. She sighed, she had never imagined she would be here and yet here she was.

            Lexa joined her, standing by her side without speaking. It seemed that though Lexa was young she understood the pain that Clarke was experiencing and that was enough to relax just the slightest bit.

            “You spoke like a leader today Clarke. Both at training and here at your drop ship, you are proving yourself again and again to these people. They are listening to you because you are a good leader, not because I told them to.” Lexa spoke quietly feeling that this conversation was best left between them, though in such a small space that was impossible, everything could be heard.

            “The commander speaks true.” It was Ryder, he pulled the tarp aside to let the other pass through before continuing not feeling the need to conceal what he was about to say from the others. “Though she has ordered me to stay by your side and keep you safe you have gained my trust, my respect, and most of all my loyalty. You speak of your actions with remorse and I can see that they haunt you still, but speak of them as your own people now and that speak to you as a leader.” It was the most she had ever heard her guard say at once. Nodding her head she extended her right arm forward, embracing Ryder’s right arm as well in a gesture of thanks that Lincoln had taught her.

            “Your words are kind and accepted but the others will be looking for us if we don’t return soon. More than that, we should be out of these woods when night falls, the Mountain Men know we have been here today.” Clarke pulled her arm back out of the embrace before following Indra who had already started to leave.

            They arrived back to the camp in time for the last call of the evening meal; they had made it out of the woods with no scratches, and though that was unheard of Clarke knew they had been watched. As they all dispersed Indra sought out Clarke.

            “I still hate you for killing my people. I don’t think I’ll ever stop hating you for that.” It was typical Indra she was rough and brash and rarely concealed what she actually thought of a person. She had stated on more than one occasion she had wanted to kill Clarke. Keeping silent to allow Indra to speak she watched the woman before her. “But you spoke like a leader today and for that you have my respect. I do want to know how you know we were being watched.” Her compliment was finished, short and direct before moving the conversation onto other things.

            “It was a sense, a feeling of being watched rather than knowing it for sure.” After sounding like a leader all day Clarke couldn’t help but allow her voice to wobble here. She was exhausted, both emotionally and physically and didn’t have the strength to continue. Adding to the fact she was going on hunch against a trained warrior Clarke felt at a major disadvantage.

            “Well you were right, at one point I did a sweep and found some boot tracks that didn’t belong to any of us. I’m guessing they were watching from the trees.” Indra finished quickly.

            “It’s a good bet that if we’re being watched they know about the meeting of the leader of the Twelve Clans.” Indra shot her a lock of warning nodding her head in consent before walking away. If they knew about the meeting it didn’t bode well for things to be easy. Yet again, nothing was ever easy here on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Leave a review~


	3. Unforeseen Outcomes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this took so long to get out and it's kind of short. This chapter gave me a lot of trouble and has been a huge road block, even though I have known where the story was going. I hope you enjoy it. In food news, the next chapter should be up soon as I started working on it tonight.

            The night passed and the next few days began like any other day of training, another day of planning and figuring out just exactly where Lincoln and Bellamy would be going into the tunnels. It wouldn’t be easy, but if they made it look like Lincoln was still a Reaper and was taking Bellamy prisoner than it would be that much easier to get past the others. The plan was dangerous and foolhardy it was a prayer and if they didn’t Bellamy in to disable to Acid Fog screen which they had since learnt was a weapon and control by Mountain Men then they would lose everything that had worked so hard to gain.

            Bellamy and Lincoln left for the tunnels the day before the meeting with the other clans. Hoping it would be enough time they packed their things. It was still early, only the barest hint of dawn on the horizon as Bellamy packed a few choice things. He looked over to his bed to find Clarke blissfully asleep. He didn’t want to wake her but if he chose not to then there would be hell to pay when he got back. It had been less than a week since they had been betrothed, most of the time spent had been spent planning and practicing. The cooks had hired a team of hunters so start bringing in more meat, if they were preparing for war, they would need all the extra protein they could get.

            Stepping over towards the bed Bellamy looked down at his beautiful bride to be. If you had asked him when he landed if he planned on pledging his life to this girl just a short while later he would have laughed in your faced and asked if you had had a touch too much of Monty’s moonshine. Now though, as he gently brushed the strands of bright blond hair out of her face he couldn’t imagine it any other way. They were leaders first, friends second, and lovers third. Their friendship was built on trust and that is why they led together because they always trusted the other person to help them make the right decision. Whispering her name quietly Clarke stirred her eyes hazy before clearing to see Bellamy’s somber face.

            “Time already?” Clarke asked with a yawn, sleep still filling her voice.

            “It’s time.” Clarke sat up before rubbing her eyes removing away the little pieces of crust that had formed overnight. Scrubbing her hands over her face she looked at him. She noticed how he was playing with one of the loose ends of a blanket and how he wasn’t looking at her directly. He was worried. Slipping out of the covers Clarke pulled on her pants and boots before her shirt and jacket as well. She could brush her hair later; right now she needed to be Bellamy’s rock.

            “You can so this. I have faith in you.” Clarke walked out with her hand in his. The small gesture of affection had become more common place for them in the last several days but still it was a little odd to feel the extra warmth her hand gave off. Squeezing once tightly Bellamy smiled at the woman at his side. She wasn’t eighteen yet and therefore technically not an adult but regardless he couldn’t help but look at her like the woman she was. He had fallen in love with this beautiful, caring, passionate, woman that would never give up on him.

            “What about the meeting? If you and Lexa are being watched should you really go? Isn’t the chance of you two being there make it more of a target?” The questions poured out of his mouth as they reached the gate. Lincoln and Octavia were already standing in wait as Indra, Lexa, Rave, Kane, and Abby were there as well.

            “Look at me.” She held his face in her hands until he looked back at her. Clarke had been comfortable with holding Bellamy’s hand in public but after that she wasn’t so sure. The more physical aspects of their relationship were so new that she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it. Bellamy had told her they could take their time, go at whatever pace made them both comfortable. Now though as they stood in front of their friends and said their good-byes Clarke took a step in faith. “You will not die.” Her voice was stern, commanding, she was giving an order. “You will not Bellamy Blake because there are people that need you here. They need your motivation and your determination. They need your ridiculous face and most of all they need you. You will not give up. You will not lose faith. You will not waver because we believe in you.” Clarke paused for a moment. “I believe in you.” Her tone softened and just before she could question her own resolve she brought his head down to hers and pressed their lips together. It was sealing a promise, the promise that she wouldn’t let him die and that he would return to her. Bellamy wrapped his arms around her and for a moment they were lost in the bliss of the simplicity of their kiss. But all too soon they broke apart, Clarke blushing and Bellamy smiling before moving towards the gate and closer to Lincoln.

            “Good luck.” Octavia pressed a swift kiss to Lincoln’s mouth before pulling back. Just before her brother passed her she grabbed his arm and gave him a tight hug, he returned the embrace understanding that for her it wasn’t just her lover that was leaving her. It was her brother too. They would return though, Clarke had given them strict orders not to die and if Bellamy knew one thing about Clarke it was that when she gave an order she expected it to be followed. He had no intention of dying, at least not anytime soon anyways. Moving away from his sister he turned around once more.

            “After a kiss like that Princess how can I not come back?” He winked at her and followed Lincoln out into the woods. They would follow a path before heading down into the tunnels, sending a swift prayer to the heavens Clarke turned back around to the others around her to find them all staring at her in shock. Clearly they weren’t expecting a good-bye quite like that. Shrugging her shoulders Clarke returned to Bellamy’s tent for a couple of hours before going to meet up with Raven as she worked on the radio system. They were hoping since they had gotten the transmission from the mountain that they would be able to talk back and forth. Now was their only hope.

            After that she had to admit it became a blur; the missile, watching Tondc go up in flames, the emotions of leaving without warning the others, the look of disgust in her mother’s eyes. All of it, Clarke couldn’t even think straight. She didn’t have time, Bellamy had made it inside the mountain but there hadn’t been any word from Lincoln, Clarke only hoped that he hadn’t given in with the temptation of the Red. Octavia was worried, it had been two days and with no news she was becoming anxious but as a second she couldn’t mourn until after the battle, that was what Indra had said and with all the strength in the world Clarke watched as Octavia struggled to shove all of her emotions in a tiny little box before steeling her features and readying herself for war. That had been before the missile, before Octavia couldn’t look at her without disgust too. Clarke wondered how many people she would let down to end this war. How much blood would she have on her hands? Would she ever be able to wash it all away or would the stains always remain? She didn’t think any more blood could be shed, pouring over her already dripping hands. She had been so terribly, terribly wrong. They had irradiated Level 5, killing everyone and as Clarke looked at Bellamy like the world had just turned black and died. They had separated after that, making sure they had all of their people and that no one had gotten left behind. She had taken the tunnels with Octavia while Bellamy had taken Miller and checked some of the other levels. It was then that it happened the ground beneath their feet began to shake. Clarke and Octavia glanced at each other, eyes wide. Octavia was closer to the mouth of the cave having lost her balance and fallen out towards the ground while Clarke was farther in, having fallen down a small side tunnel that was dark. The last thing she remembered was the mouth of the cave falling down and her world going black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry I'll fully explain what happened and why the ground was shaking in the next chapter. Thanks for reading! Leave a review or kudos so I know your thoughts!


	4. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something goes wrong in the aftermath of Mount Weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and continue to follow my story! I know my updating is a bit sporadic but it means a lot to those of you who are faithful enough to stay with this. This chapter is a bit angsty, along with the next several chapters, so be prepared. Enjoy~

            Octavia jumped up after the ground had stopped shaking trying to regain her balance and find a way to get back through the entrance that was now completely covered by rocks, mud, and dirt. Yes they had had their differences but Clarke was still important to her and having her trapped in a tunnel when the ground was shaking was not an end she had in mind for anyone. She heard some shouts and looked up to find Bellamy, Lincoln, and a few of the others rushing down to make sure she was okay. As Bellamy wrapped her in a tight hug he tried not to focus on the gaping hole that had been filled with loose dirt when there was no sign of Clarke. Slowly he released his sister so that Lincoln could finally reunite with her before looking over the mouth of the cave as his heart began to beat more and more quickly. Too much had fallen, there would be no way to guarantee that the structure inside would be sound for them to go back through either way.

            Wick approached carefully with a dismal look on his face shaking his head slowly as he carried Raven with him.

            “What happened?” Bellamy demanded his voice strong though his emotions wavering every which way.

            “It looks like a failsafe was triggered. There where plates and sensors put in place around crucial points. It was probably intended to take us down from the inside out but whoever triggered it did it too late. We got everyone out that I could see. From the few glances I got inside there’s no way to go back in. Everything has shifted and with the acid fog I would worry about containment. If there’s a breach it could ruin everything, including penetrate into the ground and then that brings in a whole new set of problems.” Wick continued on finally reaching them and setting Raven down for a minute. As Wick stepped closer to Bellamy Octavia went to step over to Raven, speaking quietly with the girl while checking her wounds.

            Octavia wondered who would be the first to ask the question, and how long it would take. She knew Bellamy had his suspicions but they hadn’t been confirmed, he had been happy that she had made it. It was Raven who voiced the concern that they were all thinking about.

            “Wick you said everyone that you could see. But Clarke was with Octavia down here. Octavia, where is Clarke?” Raven had gently stopped Octavia’s hand before she tightened the wrap around her leg.

            “If I had to guess I would say somewhere in there, trapped.” Octavia shook her head and continued on before she could get barraged by questions from everyone. “We were doubling back to make sure we had all of our people out. The Reapers that we neutralized when we went in there were gone. They must have fled when they heard the warnings when everything happened I don’t know. We had moved farther apart to try and cover more ground, I was standing closer to the mouth of the cave and she was farther in. I was about to turn around when everything started shaking and I fell.” Octavia shook her head trying to clear away the growing worry; she was worried for her friend. This was her fault, she had strayed too far. The group remained quiet for some time all considering their friend’s fate.

*~*~*~*~*

Clarke’s eyes opened slowly in the darkness, trying to feel her way around to identify where she was. She felt the coolness of loose dirt all around her and noted she had fallen in a shallow hole. It couldn’t have been more than a three or four feet deep. She could barely see the outline of the support beams just above her. The darkness swirled around her, Clarke tried to shut her eyes to stop the dizziness but it only made it worse. Her hand flew to her head hoping the extra stability would help to ease the dizziness but instead of support Clarke was faced with a sticky substance flowing down the left side of her face. Drawing her hand away she rubbed her fingers together trying to judge how much the wound was bleeding. She remembered that head wounds tended to bleed more. Ripping a part of her shirt she tried to wipe away the blood. Thankfully the cut was small, nothing _too_ worrisome. Clarke moved her deft hands down and over her body checking for any more injuries. She was starting to calm down when her fingers reached the bottom of her ribcage. There was a long cut, about six inches in length if she was correct. It stretched on the right side of her torso from her rib cage down to her hip. It wasn’t a clean cut, the edges felt jagged and Clarke could tell that there was shrapnel. If she were to hazard a guess she would say that the splintered piece of wood by her side was the cause. Clarke removed her outer coat before tearing more of her shirt to shreds. She would have to create bandages if she didn’t want to bleed out.

“Come on Clarke, you can do this.” She tried to reassure herself as she slowly began to pull pieces of wood out of her side. She was doing it by touch and it was dark, she focused on the larger pieces that were easier to find. It was painful and Clarke nearly passed out twice before stopping. Slowly she reached for the pieces of fabric that lay across her leg before she tied the knot with shaky hands. In her mind a ticking clock started, she knew she needed to get help as soon as possible. Moving to stand, Clarke screamed in agony, dropping her hands from the walls which had served as her support to hold her leg. Moving her hands down she could feel how the bone was out of place, she wouldn’t be able to walk on it without support. Sighing she rested her head against the solid wall, needing a moment or two of rest before she would try and move again.

*~*~*~*~*

            “Bellamy! Stop!” Octavia grabbed his arm in an attempt to make him stop clawing at the dirt that only kept refilling itself.

            “We have to get her out! She could be dying! She could be losing oxygen!” Bellamy’s eyes widened frantically. Wick approached him carefully trying to calm him down only to have him shake him off and stepping away.

            “Look, Bellamy, we have no tools. None of us have eaten properly in days and none of us have had proper sleep in longer than that. We need tools. We need food. We need sleep. We’ll get back to camp and set out come sunrise.” Raven spoke up leveling Bellamy with a look that spoke of the pain. Having Clarke trapped wasn’t just effecting him. This affected everyone and while they all wanted to save her they had to be practical. No one from the other group was in enough shape to help, they would have to wait. They had no choice.

            “Fine.” His shoulders dropped making him appearing defeated as the single word fell from his lips tightly. Bellamy was not okay with leaving her behind but he recognized the need for all the things that Raven had mentioned. He would be useless without rest, food, and tools.

            “Come on Bell, the sooner we get out of here, the sooner we can get back.” Octavia stood next to him, wrapping her arms around his side as the small group began to rejoin the others. Bellamy reported the news to Kane, not wanting to disturb Abby’s sleep by making her worry.

            The group trekked back slowly all exhausted and all silent as their thoughts frayed on the things of what had happened. They arrived during late afternoon and the few that had been left behind immediately began to work on setting up bedding and a place to eat while they filed in.

            Kane approached Bellamy quietly as Sinclair took Abby into the med bay with the other’s that had been harvested from. “Try and relax tonight. You’ll need your wits about you tomorrow if you’re going to be getting her out. Take what you need and who you need.” Bellamy nodded unable to form words.

            He joined the others who sat silently around the main fire before dropping his head in his hands trying to stop his racing brain. Darkness slowly began to fall and all Bellamy could think about was Clarke trapped and alone in a tunnel eight hours away. He went to bed that night with restless thoughts and really didn’t get much sleep.

*~*~*~*~*

            Clarke woke much later, she couldn’t see the sun or the stars but her body told her that it had been quite some time since she had dozed off before. Her eyes opened weakly, fluttering open and shut several times before she rubbed at them, trying to wake them up enough to stay open. Moving slowly Clarke began to pull herself up, lifting herself up out of the hole while trying not to move her left leg. It didn’t work and she had been in so much pain that she had to bite her lip to hold back the sound of complete anguish.

            Taking a few minutes to catch her breath Clarke began to feel around the ground in hopes of finding something useful to help her find a way out. Her fingers wrapped around a smooth cylindrical object and she smiled, she knew the feel of her flashlight well. She wrapped her fingers tightly around it before pressing the button taking a deep sigh of relief when the area she was in became illuminated in the bright light.

            As she surveyed the damage Clarke spotted several pieces of smaller wood that could function as a splint if only she could find something to wrap to make it stay in place. Removing her belt and the remainder of her shirt, she had a thin camisole underneath; Clarke fastened a very crude splint. Tucking the thin piece of wood in her boot and using her belt as well as several long strips of cloth Clarke tied her leg tightly, hoping it could hold for her to make the trek home.

            Taking the flashlight Clarke began to move slowly along the wall before stooping down and picking up a taller piece of iron to help her walk. Slowly Clarke used what little light she could to try and find a way out of the labyrinth of tunnels that she was lost in. By some miracle she had found an opening she could fit through. She was considerably farther down the mountain than she wanted to be and the hole was much smaller than she would prefer but she would have to take a chance at getting out if that meant shimmying her body through air-vent sized hole. Very carefully, so as not to disturb the opening any more than needed, Clarke began to move gritting her teeth tightly as the pain radiated out of from her leg. Finally out of the hole and back on the ground Clarke took several more moments to catch her breath. It would take far longer than the eight hours it would normally take at a good speed. Checking the position of the night sky Clarke could see it wasn’t that far past sundown as the eastern sky was still painted with pinks and purples of twilight. Grabbing the piece of iron again Clarke began her long trek back to Camp Jaha.

*~*~*~*~*

            When the inky blue of night turned into grey Bellamy awoke, rubbing his eyes as he tried to get his body to move. He was sore the last week had wreaked havoc on his body and now as he lay on a palate next to Octavia and Lincoln he had no desire to move. All three of them had managed to make it into the tent, if not a little closer to each other than what would be comfortable before falling asleep. None of them slept well but none of them were the kind to naturally want to talk about it. Sitting up Bellamy groaned as his muscles protested against the movement. Lincoln and Octavia stirred and both began to sit up as well. They would catch a quick bite to eat before heading out.

*~*~*~*~*

            Clarke had moved slowly and from her watch, though she knew it didn’t keep the correct time, it had been nearly twelve hours and Clarke had to sit and rest again. She had been doing this all night, walking for two hours and resting for one. She hadn’t gotten as far as she had wanted but if she wasn’t careful her already open wound would open further. Pulling the makeshift bandage away Clarke grimaced. It didn’t look good, she really needed to get back, over her time walking blood and trickled down her side, continuing to flow and stained her pants. She stood again, knowing that if she were to fall asleep now she wouldn’t wake up again. She needed to stay awake and keep moving, no matter the cost.

            Taking a deep breath Clarke pushed herself up with the iron piece, holding onto the tree for support for several minutes before continuing her walk. Thankfully the path was easy to follow; she remembered it from the maps that had been drawn before the battle now followed the marks left behind by the survivors. Clarke was wobbling on her feet, having to hold onto the trees more and more as the blood loss was beginning to take its effect. She had been hyped up on adrenaline and the need to survive and so she hadn’t taken awareness of the blackness that started to edge into her vision or the delusions of seeing her father again, or Finn’s face, or Anya pushing her on, or Wells smiling at her encouragingly.

            Clarke’s breath grew heavier but as she stepped through the clearing and thought that the sight before her was the best sight she had seen since Bellamy and Octavia had returned. There, in the pale morning light stood Camp Jaha in all its glory. She watched as the guards moved along the cat walks in a synchronized rotation.

Gauging the distance, Clarke wasn’t sure if she could make it. It was over three hundred yards between her and her home and she had come so far. She could do this! She could make it!

*~*~*~*~*

Everyone was gathering supplies without talking still drunk on sleep in the early morning hours. Raven wouldn’t be able to make the trip, they had drilled into her leg and even with her brace her leg and body needed time to heal from events of the last few days.  Wick would be able to come but his one arm would be useless while it was tied off in a crude sling. Octavia and Lincoln were speaking quietly by the gate while Bellamy and Wick spoke to Kane. They wouldn’t be taking many people, just a small group that would be able to help. With everything they needed Bellamy, Lincoln, Wick, and Octavia moved towards the gate waiting for the commands to open it.

*~*~*~*~*

Clarke saw movement and heard a buzzer sound just as she was getting to the door. She doubted that they had seen her in the twilight she would have blended in with the shadows as the sun and not yet crested the horizon enough to bring light to the shadows. Clarke held her breath trying to fight off the ever encroaching dizziness. She needed to lie down, but not yet, she was almost there. Just one more moment. Just one more breath. Clarke kept repeating these like a mantra while the door swung in, taking its time before she looked up and saw four of the most important people in her life. Taking another few steps Clarke thought she could reach them if she could reach them she could live, but then her body gave in to the blackness she had been fighting for hours. She hadn’t taken more than two steps when it engulfed her completely sending her into an abyss she wasn’t sure she would ever wake from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Absolution in Limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Clarke floats between reality and her subconscious brings people back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few characters make a reappearance in this chapter and it took a really long time to get it the way it is. Honestly, I really struggled with this chapter for a long time and that's why it took so long to post. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on how this chapter came out. Thank you again for all of the bookmarks, kudos, follows, and reviews. Enjoy~

            It all slowed down for him. Seeing her stand there with a brilliant smile in the early morning sun before her eyes clouded over and she began to fall. He didn’t think he had ever moved so fast and slow at the same time in his life. He raced towards her, clutching her in his arms before she could crumple completely to the ground. His hands swept over her quickly checking for injuries. He found more than he liked. Peeling the bandage away at her side he heard himself gasp and then realized later that it was a collective of the others around him, it was then that he noticed the others had followed. The skin was jagged and raw it looked angry and though the wrapping had held it closed it hadn’t done much to stop the bleeding. They wondered how much blood she had lost. Lincoln jumped into action then, calling the guard to wake Jackson and grab a stretcher. She didn’t look good.

            After that it was all a blur. Lincoln lifted Clarke from Bellamy’s hands as he noticed how ashen her colour was. He could barely detect any breath from her chest, she almost appeared to be dead but he couldn’t let himself think of that now. Jackson was moving in tandem with Lincoln and he picked up most her weight. Octavia stood by her brother, pulling and tugging at his arm to follow. His brain was still trying to digest everything as he was practically dragged to the Med Bay.

            The flap to the tent burst open, walking the occupants as Jackson and Lincoln began shouting orders. They needed disinfectant, and they had to strip to her. Abby was up and pushing out of her cot as soon as she had caught sight of her daughters face. She needed to help with this, Jackson was good but it would be a long surgery.

            “Wait, be careful, knowing Clarke she found a way to create bandages and splints take note of where her injuries are now. Jackson nodded his head before starting at her head. Lincoln worked from her feet up.

            “There’s something here. It looks like a crude splint. From the feel of the bone it’s broken.” Lincoln had tried to be gentle but Clarke let out a muffled groan as her face scrunched up in pain. She was alive! They all took a deep breath, they needed to get to work now. Lincoln began removing the splint before trying to remove Clarke’s boots. Her foot had swollen around the material and now it would be even more painful to remove. Trying to grip the bottom Lincoln pulled and in two moves he had the offending shoe off but not without several cries from the patient. Abby moved slowly grabbing something to sit on while she tried to soothe her daughter. She didn’t have the strength to stand but she could sit and work. As Jackson went over to numerous cuts on and around her face Abby grabbed a pair of scissors to cut open her shirt. Before reaching her bra Abby turned around to find an audience behind her hoping and waiting for news.

            “Everyone out! Now! If you don’t need to be in here you can wait outside!” Abby’s tone left no room for argument and slowly everyone trailed out of the tent creating a ring around the outside.

            “Jackson, grab a curtain the others aren’t going to want to see this.” Abby sighed heavily as she returned to cutting her daughters shirt. The gash on her side wasn’t as bad as she had first thought. From the first glance it looked as though Clarke had removed most of the shrapnel but she knew all too well how things could appear alright but not be. The next four hours passed quickly as the three worked in sync moving to clean and clear each infected area so it could be stitched and covered. Even as they finished they knew that Clarke wouldn’t wake for some time. If she hadn’t been completely out before the surgery she would have passed out from the pain. Abby had had to dig further into the wound than she would have liked and was praying beyond a hope she wouldn’t have to go in again. She wasn’t sure her daughter would survive it.

*~*~*~*~*

 

            If you had asked Clarke what had happened after the world went black she would stay time seemed to stop or slow down, she wasn’t really sure how to describe the way time seemed to ebb and flow in this middle state. But even as she stood in an empty Dropship she couldn’t figure out if she was dead or if it was a dream. Moving slowly Clarke glanced confusedly down at her side where she noticed her wound was missing. It was then that she heard the noise, footsteps. Glancing around Clarke wondered where they were coming from, moving quickly to the door Clarke stopped, but how could he be here? He was dead. He had died over a year ago! It couldn’t be! Clarke’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at her father, in the flesh before her.

            “Hey there kiddo.” He sounded just like she remember and Clarke did everything she could to not cry.

            “Daddy!” She ran at him, loving the feel of his arms wrapped around her tightly. After a few moments Clarke pulled back confused. “But how?” Her brows furrowed as her brain continually tried to figure out what was going on.

            “Never mind that right now.” He paused glancing around. “So this is Earth, huh?” Jake stood close to his daughter but couldn’t help be captivated by his surroundings.

            “I did this.” Her voice was weak as her eyes traced the line of char and growth. It was a bright contrast and she couldn’t help but focus on it. “I killed them.” She looked up into her father’s face, hoping for once that she would feel the burden of the casualties of war.

            “Things are different here than we anticipated aren’t they?” Jake stooped then, letting his fingers brush gently over the budding plants that were working their way above the destruction.

            “I never knew what to expect and surely death and destruction was not it. Joy is rare here.” She bent down next to her father carefully removing some of the dirt so the plants had room to grow and thrive.

            “Clarke, even though the only thing you see is destruction that is not all that there is.” Her father stood then, pulling her up before beginning to walk outside of the area that was burnt. “Life can be brought back here; plants will thrive in this fertile soil you can grow things and begin anew.” Her father sounded so hopeful and Clarke nearly broke at the sound, she didn’t know how to tell him.

            “It’s not that simple Dad.” She finished on a sigh, not sure how to properly explain everything that had happened.

            “Clarke, all you need is hope. That’s it. If there is hope for something better you people will follow in a heartbeat. You just have to have hope.” Her father let his eyes slip closed and basks in the light of the sun before smiling at his daughter again. He couldn’t believe how beautiful she had become.

            It seemed though that time passed too quickly after that and the sun began to set. Had a day already passed? Clarke wasn’t sure, time passed oddly in this realm and before she knew it the dark hues of night began to pull at the sky.

            “It’s time Clarke, I have to go now.” Jake wrapped her tightly in his arms enjoying feeling the warmth of his daughter again. “I love you, I hope you know that.” He spoke quietly while wiping away the tears, Clarke had started crying.

            “I love you too.” She chocked around her tears.

            “Just remember to have hope and courage.” He whispered before darkness descended around them and Clarke fell into a black abyss. Time passed with a tug and a pull and sense that it was leading her where it knew she needed to go.

*~*~*~*~*

            It had been hours since he had found her and Bellamy still could barely say anything, his finacée was dying, his brave princess. He needed to snap out of this, he needed a distraction but like most of the 100 right now they were swarmed outside the tent holding a silent vigil until news from Abby came. She had made it quite clear that no one was allowed in to the med bay until she said so. He was wringing his hands when Octavia came racing up to him, pulling him from his dark thoughts.

            “Lexa, she’s here, demanding to speak to Clarke.” She was only slightly out of breath and not for the first time Bellamy was amazed at how much stronger Earth had made his sister. His frown deepened further, as if he didn’t have enough to worry about right now.

            “Well guess what, she’s going to get me instead.” He spat angrily before trying to turn around only to find Lincoln’s large hand on his shoulder stopping him, he had heard the news from where the tent was open and had stepped outside quick. Lincoln leveled him with a look that told him he knew exactly what he was doing and he was aware of the consequences if Bellamy decided to turn around and try and hit him.

            “It would be wise to put your anger aside before you go and speak to the Commander.” Lincoln spoke directly, knowing there wasn’t time for sugar coating this. “Your anger will get you nowhere with her. You have to stay strong.” He tightened his hand for a moment as a way to express his compassion before dropping it.

            Bellamy’s temper was well known in the 100, he wasn’t used to having to shield his displeasure and Octavia was too well acquainted with him when he expressed his disapproval at any situation. Lincoln was right, as much as he hated to admit it, he needed to set aside any anger he felt at Lexa for breaking the alliance to save her own people. He understood why she did it, but it didn’t mean that he had to accept or like it. Schooling his features as best he could everyone moved to make a path for Bellamy, Octavia, and Lincoln to walk through. Heading to the gate brought back memories of seeing Clarke collapse but he couldn’t think about that now, he had to focus on Lexa and whatever the hell she wanted.

            “Commander.” His tone was uninviting as he crossed his arms and standing tall. Yeah it might have been a childish move but he wanted to impress upon Lexa that she didn’t get to screw with him and get away with it.

            “Bellamy.” Her voice was solid but her features were blank, kept clear of any sign of emotion whatsoever. “Where is Clarke? I would like to speak with her.” Her voice was kept carefully neutral but Bellamy could see that she was feeling anything but.

            “You’ll have to wait in line. She’s in surgery right now.” Bellamy explained, trying not to sound pained at the idea of Abby having to cut her open further. It seemed that the word “surgery” was a little unknown and she leaned to Nyko to explain the word in her own language. Bellamy watched carefully as her face changed from neutral to worried very quickly.

            “Why? What happened?” Lexa demanded an explanation as best as she could while trying to return her face to the mask it was before but it didn’t quite work.

            “After you got your people out we got ours out.” Bellamy looked down and away, he still didn’t know how to cope with the idea of killing so many people to keep his own safe but he guessed he would find a way. He looked back up to find Lexa’s face quizzical but continued on, not wanting to bring it up. “Clarke and Octavia and a few others were doing a final sweep after everyone was out, they were down in the tunnels, a failsafe was activated and there was a landslide. Octavia was by the mouth and fell out; Clarke was further back and was trapped in. The next thing we know she shows up the next morning outside the gate bloody and dirty and collapsing on the ground. It wasn’t hard to put the puzzle pieces together.” Bellamy explained further. 

            “We found a trail of blood from the Mountain back to your camp. It must have been Clarke’s. I’m not quite sure how she survived, there was a lot.” Nyko stepped up commenting to Bellamy. He would never cross his Commander but he had a soft spot for Bellamy and Clarke and everything they stood for.

            “Commander if it is fine with you, I would like to offer my services to help them heal Clarke.” Lexa nodded her approval but Nyko waited for Bellamy to nod to Lincoln as the two men headed back to med tent. There was silence between them for several moments before they heard a scream, Clarke must have come to. Bellamy almost turned to run to her but Octavia caught his arm shaking her head. A few seconds later the sound went away again and Bellamy could only hope that they had found a way to knock her out until they had finished.

*~*~*~*~*

            Pain prickled just underneath her subconscious pulling her up into the word of the living when she let out a loud scream. The pain was unbearable, she felt like a knife was inside of her. She barely heard her mother saying something before she took a deep breath of a scent she couldn’t place and descended into the black mist of her dream world again.

 She wasn’t sure how long it had been before she felt the familiar tug of waking up again. Her eyes fluttered open carefully to reveal that she was back at the Dropship again. She was beginning to wonder if it would all come back to this place.

            “Well isn’t this nice.” The placid voice turned Clarke’s head as she saw Anya in her full Grounder garb standing before her on the soot and ash of her people.

            “Anya.” Clarke walked out to greet the woman properly.

            “So this is what you see when you’re debating life and death, comforting.” The woman wasn’t known for her pleasantries.

            “And it’s nice to see you too.” Clarke responded sarcastically. It was several moments before either woman said anything, waiting to see where this was all going. “You know you were right?” Clarke asked before starting to move away from the Dropship and to the outer circle of where the remnants of the wall were.

            “What about?” Anya followed her, watching and waiting to see where Clarke was going with this.

            “I started I war I didn’t know how to end.” Clarke turned to stare at the woman beside her as warrior and no longer as an ignorant girl who didn’t know how this world worked.

            “But alas, it looks like you managed to end it.” Anya observed quietly.

            “I did, but it was only through the sacrifice of many.” Clarke finalized leveling a solid look at the taller woman next to her.

            “That is leadership Clarke. When you wear the mantle of that particular title you will find that sacrifice is something that is a constant. Sacrifice of yourself, of those you love, friends, family, children, and innocence. You give everything up for peace and even then you don’t always find it.” Her face was pained as she spoke and not for the first time Clarke wondered what Anya had sacrificed while being leader of the Tree people.

            “Lexa has taken up your mantle wonderfully then.” Anya could hear the bitterness in her voice. “She betrayed an alliance for the promise of an enemy.” The words stung and brought images back that Clarke wished would disappear.

            “You understand why she did what she did though, right?” Anya inquired as if she were speaking to a child, which in this instance wasn’t too far off the mark. Clarke had only just begun to lead, she was still learning.

            “Just because I understand doesn’t mean I have to like it.” Clarke finished before stepping over the thresh hold of the gate before venturing further into the woods knowing that Anya would follow her. “She left my people to die and in turn I killed others to save my own people. What does that make me?” The question wasn’t asked to anyone in particular but Clarke still couldn’t help but let the words escape from her mouth.

            “Here’s the difference Clarke, you didn’t make that choice alone. Bellamy was with you and so was the other one. You have people Clarke, people to rely and count on, don’t push them away. They will help you bear this burden.” Clarke thought she could hear a note of jealousy or rather of nostalgia. Clarke wondered again if Anya had had someone like that in her life and had lost them. Earth was a cruel place, it wasn’t known for letting you be happy long.

            “I’ll never wash off the blood, will I?” Clarke asked as the stood before the river crossing where they had first found the sign leading to Mount Weather.

            “They’ll only be soaked further.” Anya began to explain. “Something you have to understand Clarke is that when you are leading a group of people their needs, the needs of the many come before anything else. If that means you sacrifice a few so the majority can live that’s what you do. You have to make sure you can survive.” Clarke sighed already having known what Anya was going to say. There was no washing the blood away.

            “Find the absolution you seek with your lover because you won’t find it anywhere else.” Anya spoke again, this time Clarke could tell from experience. As they walked in silence through the woods Clarke noticed how the sun began to sink lower and lower, it was almost time for Anya to leave.

            “It all comes in time.” Anya had turned towards Clarke one last time before Clarke was once again swallowed by the darkness, falling into time and space, continually falling before the familiar tug of waking up came again. Clarke wondered if she ever would wake from this never ending dream. She wanted to, but at the same time she felt like this wasn’t quite done yet, like there were still things that needed to be done.

            This time when Clarke opened her eyes she wasn’t surprised to find herself in the Dropship what she was surprised by was that Finn Collins stood before her, hands clasped in front of him waiting for her reaction. She should have guessed he would have been one of the people that she would spend time talking to while she floated between life and death but even still his presence still put her ill at ease.

*~*~*~*~*

            “If you wish to wait, you’ll have to stay outside the gate. For now, I must return to my people.” Bellamy nodded his head, the look on his face unpleasant and Lexa could tell she shouldn’t push the issue.

            “Very well, that is acceptable. And if we should need to send a message for any reason or come and get you?” Lexa let the question linger between them. He glanced at his sister who nodded her head stepping forward to accept the task only a moment before Monroe did as well.

            “We’ll stay with you, if you should need anything from my brother or anyone else we can go and get them.” Monroe stood tall next to Octavia and not for the first time Bellamy was in awe of how much they looked like warriors.

            “Very good, if there is nothing else, I am needed elsewhere.” His tone was clipped but with no further objection he turned his back on Lexa and the small group that she had come with to head back to the Med Bay, hoping that they would be done soon. It had been more than two hours with no word from Abby and as the minutes passed his worry grew.

*~*~*~*~*

            “Hello Princess.” His voice was playful but careful.

            “Hello Spacewalker.” Clarke responded with his well known nick-name thought still not entirely sure how to take him. Her time with him had been tumultuous at best.

            “You look good.” He had been staring at her for several moments before speaking. Though Clarke had processed her words she didn’t know how to respond to him.

            “I’m sorry.” Was all her brain could think of to say and so had forced the words off her tongue. Seeing him was bringing back memories, memories of Tondc and the massacre, the bodies that had been strewn everywhere and Clarke tried her hardest to repress the urge to vomit at the thought. When she finally glanced up at him she noticed how his face had been casted in shadows, gloomy and dark. A face she barely recognized. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” Her voice wobbled over the words as the tears prickled waiting to run down her face.

            Finn took a step closer a mixture of emotions passing over his face. “I know, but I still love you.” His eyes looked hopeful for a moment.

            “How, how do you still love me Finn, I murdered you!” her pitch went up at the end more than normal. “I took a knife and shoved it in your gut and killed you. How can you possibly still love me?” Her tone dropped to normal before becoming sarcastic.

            “Because I know you didn’t really mean it.” The hopefulness returned and Clarke was confused. She hadn’t necessarily walked into the situation meaning to kill him, it had killed a part of her to commit such an act but at the same time he had turned himself in. There was no other way to save him after she had heard about what would be done to him. The second she had been handed the knife she knew there was no turning back, she knew what she had to do.

            “Finn, do you understand why I killed you?” Clarke asked in disbelief.

            “You killed me because you love me.” A smile graced his features, “Kind of like Romeo and Juliet, that’s why you’re here isn’t it? You’re here to join me?” Clarke began to shake her head right away; she couldn’t understand how he was still so naive after all he had seen.

            “No, Finn. I didn’t kill you because I loved you. I killed you as mercy so you wouldn’t have to endure the torture the Grounders would have inflicted upon you.” Her eyes stared at his face as she watched it fall.

            “No, you would have talked them out of it. You would have found a way.” There it was, that youthful innocence that would break her.

            “No Finn, I wouldn’t have. They had sentenced you to having to endure eighteen deaths. Blood must have blood. That is what they believe. Once you turned yourself in there was nothing I could do but give you the mercy of swift death.” Clarke walked away from him walking past him as the Dropship felt as if it were holding her in. She was unable to look at him as he continued to believe that everything was going to come out in an ideal way, it reminded her too much of how she had found him after the massacre. The same facial expression, the same foolish ignorance, he was no different here than he was when he was alive.

             “Clarke, please.” His voice dipped low trying to soothe her like it had in the past as he turned around and tried to link his hand in hers. Clarke ripped her hand away from his unable to let him in. “What is it?!” He bellowed suddenly, making Clarke jump as she spun around. “What have I done that has made you hate me so much you won’t even let me touch you?!” He demanded moving towards her, anxious to feel her in some way.

            “When you traded Raven in for me!” The words were out of her mouth in moments. That’s what this really boiled down to because Clarke couldn’t imagine giving up a lifelong friend for someone you had just met, no matter how deep those feelings ran. Clarke had had Wells’ friendship since they babies, every childhood memory had him ingrained and even though the relationship had never been romantic she couldn’t imagine throwing him to the side for someone else and not talking about him constantly. He was her best and closest friend growing up, she could never forget that.

            “So _that’s_ what this is all about? Clarke I’ve apologize for that many times.” He retorted sounding exhausted and bored.

            “No, you’ve apologized for sleeping with me when you were with Raven. You never apologized for giving up one of your best friends for someone you barely knew. I’ve made my own peace about being the other woman without realizing it. What bothers me the most is you didn’t think Raven was important enough to bring up in _any_ conversation whatsoever. You never spoke about her until it was too late. If she meant that much to you, why did you never talk about her?” Clarke whirled on him pointing a finger at her chest in accusation.

            “Well let’s see, when I got down here talking about my best friend didn’t seem relevant as we did our best to survive. It was one thing after another. I was fighting to help everyone survive right beside you. I fell in love with you and I had never felt that with Raven, it was so different with you Clarke.” He spoke her name with reverence as he took her accusing finger in his hand before moving to start messaging the entire hand. “Clarke, you were it for me. Between trying to keep everyone alive and you, there was no Raven.” He at least had the decency to sound a little sorry.

            “That’s a lie and you know it.” Clark turned away from him unable to look him in the face. She knew he had loved them both it would have been impossible to see otherwise. It was all in how he had acted. Finn didn’t make any move to correct her, he himself knew the truth. He had loved both women. He had loved them deeply, the kind of love that had driven him mad without her.

Clarke pulled her hand away gently, though it seemed it was with little effort as it seemed Finn dropped her hand in the same moment she pulled away. Feeling that distance was necessary then Clarke began walking away from the place that held far too many memories of them and none of them were good. Sighing heavily Finn fell into step beside her, following her lead as they weaved a path to the river side-by-side. Finding a grouping of large smooth rocks Clarke settled herself above the water, letting her legs dangle over the side as she watched things move below the surface.

            They sat quietly next to each other for some time and for that Clarke was thankful. She was wound tight from her words with Finn. She had so many things she wanted to say before and now that they were out there she couldn’t help but feel as though a small burden had been removed from her shoulders. It was quite some time before she saw the sun’s reflection on the water as its shadow lengthened towards the east. His time was almost up and she wasn’t sure if she was thankful or sad that they hadn’t had a chance to speak of other things.

            “If it’s worth anything, I didn’t intend for everything to go to Hell in a hand basket so quickly. I wanted to be there for you. I wanted a chance to win you back. But after everything had happened you wouldn’t even look at me.” His voice cracked, “And when you looked so disgusted I just, it seemed like the best option to turn myself in.” Clarke sighed heavily turning towards the boy beside her. She turned his face towards her with a hand on his cheek. Finn leaned into the touch he had missed her fingers against his skin.

            “I am sorry too, for everything.” She kissed his forehead like a mother kissing a child.

            “Be at peace, Clarke, you’re forgiven.” And with that darkness descended as Finn faded into the mist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again so much for reading~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~


End file.
